posted by YourName on Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 7:49 AM
It is right at the tip of my tongue. Refuses to go away.
The stubborn canker sore appeared 13 days ago. Of course, I had it before many times. They never last this long. I applied all the medicine (including salt) I could get and rinsed my mouth with salt water solution.
On the 11
th day (two days ago), it still showed no sign of easing and I decided to go to the doc. I left the clinic with 5-day antibiotics, a different kind of oral cream, and loads of worry
When I arrived back at the office after the clinic visit, I surfed the web for medical resources. The result is consistent with my worry.
"One of the
symptoms of tongue cancer - canker sore that does not heal in 3 weeks"
There is a long list of symptoms associating with tongue cancer. When everything is so uncertain, my natural response took over and started looking for
symptoms that correlate to mine. Probably this is what the saying of "
the more you know, the more scared you are".
Yesterday, the 12
th day, after 4 takes of antibiotics,
still no improvement. Worry intensified. I told myself, 3 weeks or 21 days is the deadline. I still have 9 days of hope.
I shared with my children on the possibilities. They are angels. Their responses, again, made me feel how blessed I am!
Suddenly, I realised what worries me most is not the sore, whatever terminating illness, but my children. To be exact, I discovered the greatest pain for a me would be not able to be there for them when my children are in need!
"
The greatest plight of a mother is not able to help knowing her child is suffering."
And I shared this discovery with some of my students in the Program Design class.
Finally, today morning I woke up and overjoyed that the pain has greatly reduced though the canker sore still sitting there with the usual white crater.
I rushed to the kids' room and broke the good news to them. They were still dressing up for schools when we three hugged tightly together!
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For the critter!